The Old Man and The Pony

In 1953, for all intents and purposes, the old city of Toronto only stretched from the shores of Lake Ontario to the southern slopes of the Don Valley at a place called Hog’s Hollow. That was the last stop for the Young Street trolley and from that point northwards patches of urban squalor were just beginning to encroach onto the surrounding farmland.

When I was ten years old, our family moved onto a recently constructed cluster of suburbia a few miles beyond the city limits just north of Steels Avenue. Our subdivision was the first of its kind north of the city. All the houses were brand new white clapboard bungalows, “they were all made out of ticky tacky and they all looked just the same.”

The small country schools in the area needed to be expanded to accommodate all the city kids moving in and although the student population was a strange mixture of city slickers and local yokels we all seemed to get along, although my circle of were almost exclusively comprised of the farm kids. I spent most of my free time playing and helping with chores on the many functioning farms still holding on in the area.

At the time, there was a small convenience/general store located on the southeast corner of Steels Avenue and Young Street, not far from where we lived. It had been serving the farm community for years and shortly after we moved into the area the owner died and it became available for rent. My parents decided to try their hand at shop keeping and because I also spent a lot of time around the store I became even more involved with the farming community.

I recently went to the site of the old store and as I stood in the shadow of the high-rise buildings that now dominate the intersection, it was hard to visualize what it had looked like back when I was a kid. In those days there were a few businesses and houses on the east side of Young Street south of our store, but on the west side Holstein cattle still grazed in a huge pasture. Everything north of Steels, with the exception of our subdivision, was still farm country.

We only lived in the area and operated the store for a short time but I still have many vivid memories of the things I saw as my pals and and I would sit on the steps of the store sucking our purple popsicles and watching the traffic buzz by on the main artery out of the city.

One day something happened that has haunted me for years and I only recently have begun to understand what it was all about.

It was around noon on a warm summer day when two trucks pulled up on the wide shoulder beside the store. My friends and I watched as two men from the first enclosed van got out and opened the trucks back door. They disappeared inside then backed out dragging a shiny red governess cart by its shafts. It was after they had eased it on to the ground and went to the second truck that they really got our attention.

They dropped the tailgate down and revealed the prettiest piebald Shetland pony we had ever seen. The little horse stood impatiently snorting and pawing the truck bed while one of the men slipped in beside him and then backed him down the ramp. While one man held his lead shank the other retrieved a harness from the front of the truck then the two of them busied themselves debating strap lengths and hanging a brass studded leather harness on the little gelding. Shortly, a yellow cab pulled up and the taxi driver helped an ancient looking man out of the back seat. I say ancient because in those days almost all adults looked old to us but this man was definitely in the category of grandfather, if not great-grandfather.

While we watched, the truck drivers put the pony into the shafts and attached the traces. One of them stood at the pony’s head while the other loaded a series of small boxes from the trunk of the taxi, then helped the stiff old man up and through the back door of the cart.

The old man shifted the boxes around a bit then took a seat at the side of the cart and took up the reins, “Thanks, you can let him go now.” we heard him say, and then the truck drivers stood back.  The old man clucked the pony up and they trotted through the intersection and headed west on Steels Avenue.

They hadn’t traveled the length of a football field when for some reason the pony bolted. As the animal took the bit in his mouth and sprung into top gear we could see the old man attempting to stand and rein him in but there was no stopping him and before they got much further we saw the pony leap into the ditch overturning the cart and launching the old man into the bushes beside the road.

The truck drivers leaped into their vehicles and headed up the road toward the scene and we hoofed it after them. When we got close we could see the old man lying on his back and he wasn’t moving.  One of the truck drivers was attending to him while the other was attempting to cut an upside down and wildly thrashing pony out of his harness and get him out of the ditch.

My memory is not clear on what happened immediately afterwards but I do remember police cars and ambulances arriving and seeing the old man taken away on a stretcher. It was what I learned about the old man afterwards that has stayed with me all these years and has become so meaningful as I approach the age he must have been at the time.

The old man and the pony both survived the accident and after a brief stay in the hospital he took up lodgings at a farm very close to where the accident occurred. The Sheppards, a family I knew well because their youngest son was a friend of mine, took pity on the old man and offered him room and board while he convalesced. It was an especially good arrangement because they also had room in their barn for his pony.

My friends and I took it upon ourselves to make sure that the old man’s pony was well looked after while he was confined to a bed in his upstairs bedroom. We fed, watered and exercised the little animal- with the emphasis on his exercise. We took turns cantering the little pinto around the field behind the barn till we had the little fellow run ragged. If it happened that he was put back into harness it would have been very unlikely that he could have mustered up enough energy to run away again. As it turned out that wasn’t to be an issue because one day we arrived at the barn to discover that our pretty pony was gone and a dull looking skinny old bay mare about the same size was in his place. Les Ehrlick, a Toronto horse dealer who had sold him the first pony, had taken pity on the old man and found him the quietest pony in the province as a replacement. The mare wasn’t as much fun as the sparky little gelding but we kids continued to feed and water her.

After a couple of weeks when the old man was able to get around a little better, he started spending his mornings in the stable sitting on a pile of straw bales watching his new pony. We would meet him when we came to do our chores and although we tried to be friendly with him, he didn’t respond to us the way we had hoped. He seemed lost in his thoughts most of the time and almost unaware of our presence.

Although he never spoke more than a few words to us I often heard him talking to Mr. Sheppard when they were together in the barn and that’s when I heard his story. I absorbed all I heard and stored it away in the recesses of my ten-year-old brain not really understanding the significance of what he was revealing.

Mr. Marsden was born on a farm in Yorkshire, England, but as a very young man he was forced to leave his home and take a job in a factory in one of Britain’s industrial centres. He did a stint in the army during WW1 and then immigrated to Canada where he once again took up the lunch box and started working on the production line of an appliance manufacturer in Toronto. He spent thirty years at the same job day after day living alone and, for the most part, keeping to himself. During all those years of loneliness and drudgery he harbored a secret ambition. When he was a boy in Yorkshire, peddlers in pony carts used to travel around from farm to farm selling small dry goods and he was always in awe of the wonderful free way of life they led. Although he realized how impractical the idea was in this new day and age, the boy in him refused to let it go.  

After he retired he spent most of his time in his room on the third floor of a boarding house or feeding pigeons in the park. Several years of this drab existence passed until one morning he woke, shaking off the mist of a rapidly developing dementia and determined to fulfill his dream. He purchased his pony and cart and acquired a selection of small goods and arranged to have them delivered to the city limits.

I heard his story but when I was a boy, it was just a story, with no moral and no lesson to be learned.

His story ended one morning when the two of us showed up to do chores and found him sitting in his usual spot.  It was a while before we realized he was dead. We ran for Mr. Sheppard and then hung around for the rest of the morning while the police and then the undertaker’s van came.

It was a day that an old man’s impossible dream was put to rest, and two boys had their first unforgettable experience with death.

   

The Augean and Other Disasters (Part 1)

Where there are horses there is bound to be horse manure, there’s no avoiding it. One of the first problems I encountered when I started my riding school was disposing of the stuff. My stable was located in a park in the heart of Toronto, and for a time, the mushroom growers on the outskirts of the city were willing to haul the dung away at no charge. That arrangement didn’t last very long, however. The Health Department intervened, demanding that all of the refuse from my barn, and others in the city, be contained in sanitary bins that would be required to be removed and replaced several times a week. It was an expensive proposition and I immediately began to try and figure out a way around it.

I was stumped for quite a while until one day when I was eating my lunch in the kitchen and listening to the TV blaring away in the living room. Johnny Mathis was singing the theme song to the cartoon series “Hercules.” I didn’t mind the song, or the show, but when that annoying little centaur named Newton started screeching “Herc! Herc!’ I couldn’t stand it any more and started down the hall to turn the set off. That’s when it hit me!

I remembered the stories of the trials of Hercules - and in particular the one about his task of cleaning out the massive Augean Stables. As I recalled, it was the fifth task that King Eurystheus had set for him; he was given only one day to muck out an enormous barn. At first the job had seemed impossible, but true to form, Hercules came up with a solution. He bashed holes through opposing walls of the stable, diverted a river to flow through the opening and, Voilà! the poop was gone.

The wheels began to turn immediately. My first thought (immediately dismissed) was that I might make use of the Don River; it flowed by only a few yards from my barn. But, no, I had to be practical, and it wasn’t until I was seated in a location where some of my most inspired thoughts come to me that I came up with the perfect solution. Actually it happened immediately after I flushed and was listening to all that water gurgling down the drain.

My barn had recently been hooked up to the city’s sewer system, so why not create a toilet for the horses too? Yes that was it. It wouldn’t really be a toilet as such, the intense training I would have to put the horses through would make that prohibitive. No, what I had in mind was an immense flushing system that would carry the manure away from behind the horses' stalls and flush it down the city’s drain.

The barn had originally been designed to house dairy cattle and as a consequence had gutters running along behind the stalls. When we converted the space for horses we simply planked them over. As my plan began to develop I realized that these cement flumes could be an important component of the flushing system I was proposing.

My final plan (and I use the term loosely because I never really plan anything I just start doing it and allow it to happen) was to cut access holes into the gutter behind the horses and install a series of high pressure water nozzles to drive the manure out of the barn and into the sewer. The actual feces would not pose a problem, but I knew that the straw I used to bed the horses would probably clog up the system so I didn’t even try to use it. The ideal bedding would have been fine sawdust, but none of that was available, so I decided to try wood chips. I located what I needed in Quebec and had a boxcar load shipped in.

It took me a couple of weeks of tinkering to get ready but finally I had the horses standing in the sweet smelling shavings and all systems were go. I opened the main water valve and the stable men started shovelling the manure into the gutter. Wood chips and dung began flowing toward the entrance to the sewer, where I had placed a battery of super high-pressured nozzles to whisk the slurry on its way. It was working like a charm and in half the time it normally took to muck out the stables we were finished and congratulating ourselves.

We settled in to using the system twice a day and I was so proud and pleased with myself that I went next door to the police stable to try to talk Inspector Johnson into using my invention.

About a week later I was sitting in my kitchen pondering the possibility of patenting my idea when a man in city uniform appeared at my door. He was very polite about it but he informed me that he and his crew were busy trying to unclog a section of sanitary sewer line approximately two miles in length. He said that the offending matter appeared to be horse manure and wood chips and wondered if I knew anything about it. While I remained silent trying to formulate a suitable lie he went on to say that if his crew had not found and relieved the blockage in time, it might have bunged up half the toilets in North York. The evidence was pretty compelling so I decided to ‘fess up and throw myself on his mercy. After a long conversation and a commitment to give free riding lessons to each of his four grandchildren, we were back to shovelling shit... but I heard no more about it.

Tuffy

What the hell was that? It feels like a wad of paper under my bare foot but as I tilt my rocker forward again and look down, the wad of paper has turned into a pile of fluffy green feathers. My God, it looks like Tuffy, our parakeet, only a lot flatter. I reach down and cup him in my hand and his little head droops to one side and one eye stares blankly back at me. Oh Tuffy, what have I done? I feel your little heart beating under my thumb and for a moment I think you might be all right but the faint throbbing has stopped now and I guess you are a goner. I know I should be feeling sad and guilty, old pal, but I’m not. I’m just mad as hell at you. It’s your own damned fault. If you hadn’t been such a sick little pervert, this never would have happened. Your disgusting foot fetish has finally caught up with you. How many years have I put up with you incessantly humping my big toe when you thought I wasn’t looking?  How many times have I been tickled to consciousness while trying to nap in front of the TV only to wake to find you puffing bravely away on one of my lower digits and leaving heaps of regurgitated bird seed as a form of payment? I know you were lonely and were desperately looking for something that approximated a mate, but for God’s sake, Tuffy, my big toe? C’mon! Anyway that’s all over now, pal, your time has come, you are no more, you have passed, you have kicked the bucket, you are deceased, you are no longer with us. All well and good for you, old buddy, you are at peace now but I’m the one who has to break the news to Andrea. She’s out in the kitchen visiting with her friend, Frances. I don’t dare tell her now. They’re both saps for animals and Frances is worse than she is. No, I’ll have to wait ‘till she’s alone. You never know how she is going to react. I don’t even like riding in the car with Andrea, she’s always making life threatening swerves to avoid hitting small animals and if I leave her on her own, every other trip will see her bringing home a stray of some kind.

All of our animals are foundlings or give-aways, even you are - I mean, were - Tuffy. I suppose your original owner will have to be informed, too.  I’ll leave that up to Andrea.  Maybe she’ll put it off for a while, like she did when that obese cat, Tommy, suddenly died of heart attack after just a week or two with us. We knew how much he meant to the sad girl who had to give him up and didn’t have the heart to tell her so, over the next several years, whenever she phoned to see how her pet was getting on; we simply pretended he was still alive. I was always on the lookout for a lookalike cat in case we got a surprise visit.  It was an act of kindness and we fooled the unsuspecting girl, Tuffy, but there’s no way I’m going to fool Andrea about you.  

She still bugs me about the time I let her African Grey Parrot escape. That was easier to handle than this will be because she was up in Montreal at the time and I was holding the fort down here in the Valley. I know I shouldn’t be comparing you to that parrot from hell--you were just a trifle weird and confused but he was a holy terror.  I don’t know how we put up with him. Everybody except Andrea had to wear hard hats around while he was granted freedom of the air on his daily exercise flights. It was that or risk being dive bombed, getting raked by his talons and the hell pecked out of our heads. It wasn’t even safe at the breakfast table.   Sometimes we would forget he was lurking out there somewhere until someone screamed, “in-coming!” and we would have to dive for cover.  Andrea cried like a baby when I called her and told her that Toby had absconded.  I swore that I’d tried everything I could to catch him but she insisted that I have another go at it even though we both knew he would only come to her. I went along with it when she insisted that I record her over the phone doing her famous birdcall. Then she ordered me to parade around the neighbourhood gawking up into trees, cage in hand with my ghetto blaster screeching, "Here, Toby, here, Toby! Come to Momma, Toby!”  It wouldn’t have been so bad if she hadn’t also insisted on me wearing one of her old blonde wigs during the search. Some of my neighbors are still looking funny at me. I finally captured that old parrot; actually he turned himself in when the weather got colder. I can still see the old bugger sitting on that icy window sill with a bent beak, his feathers ruffled and looking like an owl or some other large bird of prey had recently had his way with him. He was a beaten bird and when I went out to grab him, he surrendered without a fight.  As it turned out, maybe he should have extended his hiatus a little more because shortly afterwards he was fatally dispatched after rudely waking up our beagle, Dukie, with a peck on the dog’s nose.  “Let sleeping dogs lie.” 

No, Tuffy, old boy, you weren’t like him; there was nothing dangerous about you. Granted you were a bit of an embarrassment to the family and we always tried to make sure that nobody was going around barefooted when we had guests visiting. On the few occasions that you made advances on unsuspecting strangers, we always interceded, made excuses and covered up for you. “Don’t ask and don’t tell.” But now you’re dead, my sick little friend, and I have no beagle to blame. It’s all my fault.  I suppose I could stuff your little body in the toe of Andrea’s rubber boot and when she pulled it on she’d think she did the deed. No, it could be days before it rains again. Hey, you’re starting to stiffen up a bit. Maybe I could wire your little feet to the roost in your cage. It could be a day or two before anyone notices and I’ll be away in Halifax by the time the shit hits the fan. No, that wouldn’t work either;  you’re much too wide in profile and too narrow head-on to be convincing. 

Maybe I should nip off to town and give Andrea a call from there? No! That’s ridiculous. I’ve got to be a man and face the music. How bad can it be? Who am I kidding. I know how bad it can be. There’s going to be hell to pay, Tuffy. Anyway that’s the kitchen door closing. Frances must be leaving. Andrea will be alone now. I guess I better go in and ‘fess up.